Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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