I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
