so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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