Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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