after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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