oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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