If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The air taste purple.
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