Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
