The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
