Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
