lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
