how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
