FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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