I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
