You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
