Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Boobs are out for the taking
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
