I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
