so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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