You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
