I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
