My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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