That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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