It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
