She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
