What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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