There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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