Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
