my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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