In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
