how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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