Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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