he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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