Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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