And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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