we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
