We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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