lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
