So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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