Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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