If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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