dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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