you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize