You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
