Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
