i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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