I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
