you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize