Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
