Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
