bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
