You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
