Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
