I just made out with a guy for $7.
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
