benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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