forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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