my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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