I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
