he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
