Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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