just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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