dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
