Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
