Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
